What would Stephen do?

As we head into the end of 2007 and the beginning of 2008, we should be asking ourselves a vital question.
What would Stephen Colbert do?
What would he do about global warming? (We may never found out thanks to those wimps in South Carolina who wouldn't put him on the ballot.)
What would he do about the major issues?
What would he do about minor issues?
What would
Stephen Colbert do? (add echo effect here)
Some people will say, look in his book.
But it's been so long since we've heard his words in first run. We need to know!
What would Stephen Colbert do?
(OK, we admit. We're killing time on a Sunday night. But it's a good question.)